“I’ll join you when Hell freezes over,” said Neville. “Dumbledore’s Army!” he shouted, and there was an answering cheer from the crowd, whom Voldemort’s Silencing Charms seemed unable to hold.
Happy 34th Birthday to a true Gryffindor and one of the bravest characters I’ve ever known, Neville Longbottom.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS STUFF
I BOUGHT IT
TRIED IT ONCE
I THOUGHT IT WAS HORRIBLE
IT WAS STICKY AND CEMENTED MY LIPS TOGETHER
IT GOT ON EVERYTHING
IT DIDN’T SUPER-STAY
I THREW IT INTO MY DRAWER WITHOUT ANOTHER THOUGHT
AND THEN OUT OF THE BLUE I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN
HOPE IN MY HEART, PEACE IN MY SOUL, I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN
I READ THE DIRECTIONS
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I SAW THE LIGHT
I COULD SEE CLEARLY NOW, THE RAIN WAS GONE
YOU HAVE TO PUT THE RED STUFF ON FIRST
WAIT FOR IT TO DRY
COMPLETELY (I MISSED THIS STEP BEFORE)
IT SHOULD BE SO DRY AND IF YOU KISS THE BACK OF YOUR HAND, NO MARK SHOULD SHOW
AND THEN I PUT THE BALM ON (I ORIGINALLY TRIED PUTTING THE BALM ON FIRST…. DON’T DO THAT.)
AND IT GOT RID OF ALL THE STICKINESS
AND THE RED DOESN’T EVEN GET ALL UP IN THE WHITE BALM
IT WAS A MIRACLE
THIS STUFF IS THE FUCKING BEST
IT STAYS ON FOR A REALLY LONG TIME
IT DOESN’T GET ON ANYTHING
AMAZING I WANT TO BUY THIS IN FORTY SHADES OKAY I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO TRY IT
NO BUT DO KEEP IN MIND THAT IT REALLY DOES STAY ON FOR A VERY VERY LONG TIME
AS IN, LONG ENOUGH TO FORCE YOU TO SCRUB IT OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY
THIS STUFF ISN’T FOR THE WEAK, THIS IS FOR THE POWERFUL BADASSES WHO WASH THE BLOOD OF THEIR ENEMIES OUT OF THEIR CLOTHES AT THE END OF THE DAY LIKE ITS NOTHING
YO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THAT THING
THAT IS A DREAM COME TRUE BUT ALSO A NIGHTMARE LIKE
THIS IS ME JUST BEFORE WENT OUT THE WHOLE DAY
HELL YEAH I FELT HELLA CUTE AND POWERFUL RIGHT THIS IS THE POWER RED LIPSTICK HAS ON ME
WELL LATER I RETURN HOME AND CHANGE GLASSES AND WOWIE IT’S STILL THERE AWESOME
THEN JUST FOR SCIENCE I DECIDED TO SLEEP WITH IT OKAY
I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY LIKE THIS
AND THEN AGAIN FOR SCIENCE, I DIDN’T RUB IT OFF AT THE SHOWER JUST TO SEE IF IT WAS WATERPROOF TOO AND
I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG WOULD THAT HAVE LASTED IF I DIDN’T TAKE IT OFF AFTER THAT PHOTO BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS MUST BE MADE OF THE BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES I ACCEPT NO OTHER EXPLANATION
My mom just told me you’re not a woman until you get blood on nearly every pair of pants you love. I was like, “what if you don’t have periods?” And she said “I didn’t say it had to be your own.”
I thought this was going to be cissexist and I was pleasantly surprised.
I liked Slodwick’s design for this Welcome to Night Vale board game so much that I decided to make a fully playable physical version with a box, tray, and three dimensional pieces. (The box is made of plywood covered in a faux leather vinyl and felt.)
I changed up a few things like the color of the money (matching traditional Monopoly colors except for the $500 bill which I made purple) and the obelisk/pyramid buildings. Since these would have been too difficult for me to make out of wood, I made the obelisks condos (black cubes) and changed the pyramids back to hotels (like those you’d find in an original Monopoly game). For the game tokens, I attached Slodwick’s images onto a piece of PVC pipe (spray painted black) on top of a piece of felt. I also designed and wrote up my own instruction book to match Monopoly rules more closely while still keeping some of Slodwick’s Night Vale flavor.
As a finishing touch, I etched a Night Vale eye out of a brass plate, spray painted it black, and sanded the raised surface, giving it an interesting aged look. Overall, I think the project turned out quite well.
Here are some more pictures I took of the project.
"That friend of yours. What was her name?"